After the Storm

2012

2012-01-19T00:32:00.000+08:00

I spent 3 days writing my new year updates. I end up deleting it. Not gonna write much as I'm so sleepy. I can say my 2012 started off pretty good, and I pray more good things to come. I finally liberated myself from Fluxed magazine (I even lodged a report against them, so you fuckers just wait) and see a new path lie down before me. Let's hope this one will lead me to a better future.

I'd like to thank these people for helping me to make my way to the industry: Gary John, Syed Ashraf, Janet Lee, Syeikh Azraai, and of course Szu Lee. And countless of people I can't remember their name at the moment.

2011 seems so far away behind. This year, it's gonna the best year ever.

I'd like to write more, but this new place has a code that does not allow me to reveal much.

Tapi...

2012-01-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ada benda nak tulis. Tapi tunggu esok je lah. Kahkah.

Fuck you again Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-28T12:50:00.000+08:00

Yes, and I said yes to that too. You mean I can only select one?That's preposterous!

2011-12-24T13:14:00.001+08:00

I have received several offers at the moment. And I said yes to all. And it's not about marrying several women at once. It gives me a headache. Well um, maybe after I spend my 6th day of lepak marathon at KLCC I can finally make up my mind. Maybe.

Fuck off Wordless Wednesday!

2011-12-21T22:32:00.000+08:00

I want to start my 2012 with a bang.

2011-12-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

I'm praying for better opportunity to come. Dear potential employer, I'm ready.

Teh O kaw

2011-12-16T01:21:00.001+08:00

Prep malam tu Ucop rasa letih sangat. Berapa kali dah sejak prep malam mula pada 8.00 dia asyik tersengguk-sengguk di meja. Latihan Geografi entah ke mana pergi, bersepah-sepah tulisan tanda dia memang separuh sedar nak siapkan kerja. Ini semua training ragbi la tadi ni, keluh Ucop sambil lap muka bila Fawwaz tanya kenapa dia macam tak fokus.

Ucop cuba ke tandas, jalan terhuyung-hayang hampir melanggar meja Fazlin yang terletak dekat pintu. " Ei bongok tau kau ni, mata letak mana!" jeritan nada tinggi Fazlin menggegar gegendang telinga Ucop. Malas dah nak cakap maaf, dalam kepala Ucop dia nak basuh muka dan lepak kejap depan kolam Taman Sains. Penat gila sial, bebel Ucop sorang-sorang.

Ucop ambil keputusan untuk tidur saja kat meja sampai habis prep. Melampau betul ni. Nasib baik prep berbaki lagi setengah jam, jadi Cikgu Samsudin takkan meronda blok akademik untuk merotan budak-budak nakal tuang prep. Cukup masa Ucop kemas barang dan paksa diri pulang ke bilik. Dalam kepala dia hanya nak tidur. Isyak ke mana, gosok gigi pun entah ke mana. Dia baru je nak melangkah tangga naik ke bilik tiba-tiba terdengar namanya dipanggil dengan nada paling biadab. Ah celaka, Arshad nak apa ni, bisik Ucop.

Arshad berdiri di balkoni memegang botol kosong. "Oi Ucop, tolong aku amik teh o kat dewan makan!" laung Arshad melayangkan sebuah botol kosong untuk disambut Ucop. Nama je tolong tapi lebih kepada arahan. Ingkar bererti Ucop akan tidur dengan perut yang senak. Ucop jadi sakit hati, sudahlah mengantuk lepas tu kena pegi isikan air untuk Arshad pulak. Babi! Maki Ucop bertalu-talu.

Dewan Makan masih penuh. Pelajar lelaki dan perempuan masih melepak menikmati milo panas (yang cair, mengikut standard mamak) bertemankan karipap kentang. Ucop tiada selera malam tu. Katil! Katil! Katil! Jeritan batin Ucop bergema dalam jiwa Ucop. Tangkas dia mengisi botol kosong dengan Teh o di tong minuman ketiga. Usai penuh botol, cepat-cepat Ucop melangkah keluar dari Dewan Makan. dan ambil shortcut untuk ke bilik Arshad. Apabila Ucop melintasi tandas tingkat bawah, akal jahat berbisik kepada Ucop.

'Abang, nah Teh O. Saya letak kat loker abang ye' lembut Ucop bersuara dengan pantas dia letak botol tu dan terus blah ke bilik dia, tersengih. Arshad tengah sibuk meniru kerja rumah Fizik bingkas bangun menuju ke loker dan mengelek botol Teh O ke birai katil. "Peh, layan sial minum teh sambil buat homework, eh aku tiru bukan buat sebenarnya' lantas mengekek gelak terhadap jenaka sendiri.

Ucop pun berderai gelak di biliknya sampai menekup bantal ke muka untuk cover ketawa dia yang tersedu-sedu macam badak beranak. Bodoh Arshad, rasa aku punya Teh O kencing! Sedap tak kahkah! Ucop membetulkan kedudukan penisnya lantas menarik selimut untuk tidur.

After the Party: AloudAsia Penang

2011-12-14T12:07:00.000+08:00

Buih buih buih boobs buih.

I, hate.

2011-12-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

Look I'm not gonna waste my time (and probably your precious time as well) scribbling down nonsensical rants now, since I don't feel like writing to be honest. I might end up writing a sick perverted joke that nobody will ever get, or bish anything that I hate at the moment. Is there anything I don't hate? I hate pretty much everything! From rude mamak restaurant, to snobbish LRT commuters, I probably hate your mum and your car as well, for no apparent reason. You know anything else I hate? My boss. What else? Yes, I hate driving. My mouth spits faster vulgar words than the speed of the car I drive. Yes I hate people who don't reply my IM. Talk to me you stuck up people! I hate slow Internet connection, because I hate to wait webpage to load. No I'm not done. I hate the fact I always end up being used most of the time and when I retaliated with harsh reaction, I'll end up feeling guilty. I hate Malaysian street burger. They put too much mayo and sawce, later smudge my super awesome band shirt. I hate smelly people in LRT, they ruin my morning (or evening). Are you still here? I hate Imbiss Deli. Not that I hate the food, don;t get it wrong, I love the burgers and dongs! I hate the fact my hand smells sawce, condiments, meat after my meal at Imbiss because I end up putting my palms closely to my nostril and sniff em like nobody's business, sedap doh bau dia. I hate reading blogs by bishes with the likes of intanurulfateha or cikepal for instance, they are parasite to the society I wish they could simply vanish into thin air, one fine day. I hate interviewing beautiful celebrities, their untainted beauty distracts me from performing my assignment, I still love Jojo Struys btw. I hate being around beautiful and rich people, I wish to rip their expensive clothes off from their surgically enhanced body. I hate the fact I never get to slim down. I hate I have to replace my black Converse sneakers every 8 months. I hate my compulsive online buying disorder, well not really disorder. I tend to buy and later regret but flaunt my stuff as if I have lotsa money left in the bank.Damn you Internet. I hate when I eat using my hand, I have to walk to the sink situated somewhere only God knows, only to have my hand washed!Some more I have to repeat when I finished eating! I hate waking up from sleep way too early from usual. I end up standing up at the balcony, smoking cigs while get my brain to think something, preferably related with Fight Club. I hate to walk out of the house only to turn back half way because I forgot my ID and ATM card. I hate it when people shouts and vents their anger through the phone. Either I get stutter or disconnect the call. I hate the fact I haven't living a normal 9-5 for the last 4 months. I hate the fact this year is probably the lowest oint in my life but filled with interesting experience.

You still reading? You just wasted 8 minutes of your life reading my nonsensical rants. As for me, a splendid idea just crossed my mind while writing this, so I guess it's not a loss at all spending few minutes typing typity type craps and shits. Ta!

We are about to sail to Dreamland. Wash your feet first, gentleman.

2011-11-24T02:07:00.000+08:00

When I was a little boy, I always went to sleep in fear. 20 ++ years later, I still sleep in fear. Guess some things are meant to last forever. And I'm very very upset.

We bang it hard, real hard.

2011-11-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

Ini.... infectious. Met DJ Blink the other day and told him personally I dig Rave. The look on his face was priceless yao. To have such statement coming out from the mouth of a metalhead, that would be very, very peculiar I guess.

Sentimen anti-Budin

2011-11-19T01:30:00.000+08:00

Ucop memang tak puas hati dengan Budin, supervisor Dewan Makan. Lelaki keding laksana penagih dadah tu seringkali maki penghuni hostel tanpa sebab bila tiba waktu makan. Sebenarnya bukan Ucop sorang rasa camtu. Sentimen anti-Budin memang dikongsi seluruh pelusuk asrama. Ucop pernah dengar pelajar form 4 merancang nak bakar Dewan Makan, tapi biasalah cakap orang masa hormon tengah naik mana boleh percaya sangat.

Hari tu hari Rabu, makan malam selalunya disajikan ayam masak merah dengan sayur kubis masak lemak. Lepas selesai solat Maghrib berjemaah, seluruh penghuni berpusu-pusu menuju ke Dewan Makan untuk makan malam sebelum menjalani prep malam. Macam biasalah tunggu semua dah duduk, baru Mazli si ketua surau bacakan doa makan. Tak semena-mena Budin mula balik perangai dia. Terjerit sana-sini entah kenapa. Nak kata budak-budak riot takde jugak. Ucop malas nak layan jadi dia tenung aje lauk ayam masak merah tu dengan berselera. Fawwaz kat sebelah dia dah mula cuit-cuit sikit ayam. Si gemuk ni mana reti sabar, getus hati Ucop.

"Weh Ucop, kau rasa mana satu lauk aku patut habiskan dulu ah?" tanya Fawwaz sambil hisap jari-jarinya yang comot disaluti kuah ayam masak merah. Ucop malas nak layan perangai Fawwaz, baru aje bukak mulut nak jawab apabila tiba-tiba elektrik terpadam.

Jeritan gadis-gadis bergema. Itu Ucop dah biasa dengar. Tapi yang dia tak biasa dengar adalah bunyi benda lembik menghentam tempat keras bertalu-talu. Kepishhkk!Kepekkk!Splattt!Bhishkkk!Blerppp! Ucop cuak jugak kalau tiba-tiba ada orang main tikam-tikam dalam gelap ni. Kang jadi kes polis Ucop malas nak terlibat. Fawwaz, dah memang dasar penakut awal-awal dah pegang lengan Ucop.

Tanggg! Bunyi pelantik kotak fius utama terpasang semula. Dewan Makan kembali terang. Kat tengah-tengah Dewan Makan, Budin berdiri tegak. Diam laksana patung. Seluruh badan Budin dihujani pisang lenyek, cebisan tembikai, dua tiga ketul potongan ayam melekat kat bahu, juraian kobis menitis dari rambut Budin dan baju serta seluar Budin basah dengan kuah ayam masak merah. Seluruh isi Dewan Makan bergegar dengan gelak. Nampaknya Budin dah terima akibatnya. Masalahnya, siapa punya kerja? Mesti dalam gelap tadi ada kutu yang buat kerja keji ni.

Esoknya, Budin terus letak jawatan dan balik kampung.

Satu perkara anda patut tahu

2011-11-16T03:27:00.001+08:00

Celebrity crush kadang-kala buat kamu kembali ke bumi nyata untuk berusaha jadi lebih kacak dan berperut leper. Celebrity crush ya, twitter crush boleh pergi jahanam.

Siapa dia anda bertanya? Saya reveal dalam siri akan datang. Sehingga itu salam manis dan sayang dari saya.

Yang dahagakan sekelumit kasih dan secubit sayang,

Abang A

Nasik tambah semangkuk!

2011-11-15T19:13:00.000+08:00

Akhir kalam, sila trim off some fat.

Milik siapakah jejaka ini

2011-11-12T11:35:00.000+08:00

Ini pagi memang nyaman. Kena pulak hujan mengguyur turun macam air mata gadis baru break-up. Gua tarik selimut sampai ke dagu dan sengih kepuasan. Tidur memang nikmat terhebat (setaraf berak dan makan).

Kemudian gua rasakan bagaikan ada satu sensasi yang menyerbu di bahagian celah kangkang. Jahanam, kalau biar boleh basah tilam! Gua paksa diri bangun dan ke tandas. Kain diselak, kepala didongak dan Hoover Dam bagaikan meletup.

Gua selak rambut, tenyeh mata dan hela nafas sebelum melihat wajah gua di cermin. Wajah separa kacak dan maskulin sebelum ni dah takde, yang tertera hanyalah...eh,macam serigala akuan. Patutlah ramai orang mengadu gua dah macam mamat Twilight. Whatever okay? Gua lupa nak shave.

5 sebab untuk dengar Anuar Zain

2011-11-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

- Sebab lagu dia tak puja setan dan berpijak pada bumi nyata (takde cerita menunggang naga dan selamatkan puteri)

- Sebab suara dia sedap ihikz

- Sebab lagu-lagu dia kuntum

- Makcik-makcik aprove dia kalau propose untuk majlis makan malam

- Chicks dig sensitive guy yang dengar Anuar Zain

Hihikz

2011-11-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

Tiba-tiba datang mood pasang Aku Cinta Padamu padahal takde pun rasa nak berkuntum. Eh by the way, hari tu dapat kasut sepasang masa press conference. Nice eh. Ok tu jewwwwwwww.

Eh headphone Sennheiser ni dah sebulan, diorang tak nak collect balik ke?

If that makes me a douche, then I'm a douchebag. Rosmaini will be full of jealousy,

2011-10-30T13:20:00.000+08:00

Keputusan penting demi masa depan

2011-10-29T03:40:00.000+08:00

Ucop masih tak boleh terima hakikat yang baru berlaku 30 minit tadi. Dada Ucop rasa nak meletup. Dia berlari ke tandas dan mengurung diri sorang-sorang. Babi! Maki ucop sendiri. Ucop rasa takut. Macam nak nangis. Tiba-tiba entah macam mana dia termonolog pulak dalam kubikel jamban duduk tu.

"Apa kau nak dari aku ha? Aku cuma nak hidup dengan tenang! Aku datang sekolah ni nak belajar, bukan untuk benda lain! Jangan cuba nak buat aku terpesong. Ini semua godaan syaitan! Setan! Jawab la sial!" sebelum disambut dengan simbahan air dari kubikel sebelah. "Pukimak, dalam jamban pun nak buat perangai, bodoh!" jeritan kedengaran dari kubikel sebelah disusuli bunyi zip ditarik kuat. Ucop terdiam. Lepas itu dia kuatkan semangat dan keluar dari kubikel tu dan keluar tandas dan menuju ke suatu destinasi.

Ucop berkali-kali ingatkan diri dia yang keputusan ni sangat penting untk masa depan dia. Dia mesti laksanakan jugak. Ucop berhenti di kolam Taman Sains yang nyata berkeladak dengan lumut. Ucop tarik nafas dalam-dalam "Saya tak nak jadi adik angkat akak sebab saya kena tumpukan perhatian kat pelajaran. Ni semua buang masa." Lega jugak akhirnya. Senior perempuan form 4 overweight yang mendengar kata-kata Ucop, antara lain hobinya kumpul adik angkat terus berubah muka, lantas berlari pulang ke hostel dengan air mata bercucuran. Hari ini, satu lagi insan di sekolah tu terselamat dari menjadi mangsa trend adik/akak angkat. Syukur.

Tragedi Bilik Basuh

2011-10-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

Malam tu, malam Sabtu. Prep malam memang tiada di hujung minggu. Kebanyakan pelajar menjalani aktiviti bebas selepas waktu Isyak tak kiralah membasuh baju ke, diskusi keagamaan di belakang surau, melahap nasi goreng di kantin (hanya berharga 70 sen, lazat!), termasuk berlari-lari bebas memanjat pagar menuju kebebasan dunia luar (juga dikenali sebagai fly). Ucop, hanyalah berusia 14 tahun waktu itu, yang dia tahu hanya belajar, belajar dan belajar. Tiada istilah serong dari tujuan asal dia datang ke sekolah berasrama penuh tu sekalipun di hujung tahun yang sama dia mula mengenali nikmat fly ke cyber cafe untuk bermain CS dan menonton porno.

Ucop selepas waktu Isyak, bersiap-siap turun ke kampus akademik dengan berpakaian baju Melayu dan berseluar slack beserta kopiah putih. Niatnya cuma satu, tugasan sains Cikgu Mazwin mesti disiapkan malam tu jugak beserta membuat latihan Matematik, sebab ujian bulanan terbaru dia hampir terjerumus ke gred C. Ucop malu. Ucop mesti tebus kembali maruahnya. Dia nak menyaingi Sarah, budak pandai dalam kelas beliau. Mana tahu Sarah mula bagi perhatian kat dia pulak, bonus okay!

"Coppp! Pegi mana?" jerit sekumpulan budak berpakaian sukan kepada Ucop yang tengah menuruni tangga tonggek (dikenali dengan nama sebegitu kerana kadar kecuramannya menjadikan sesiapa yang menaiki dan menuruni sedikit menongkat punggung, justeru tonggek). Ucop berpusing menghadap suara tersebut, "Ahh abang Khalid, abang Fariz, abang Acap, saya nak pergi kelas buat kerja sekolah la" sambil menguntum senyuman kepada kumpulan pelajar senior tingkatan 4 itu. "Ala Ucop jom lah main badminton seround dua, karang-karang buatlah kerja tu" tukas Fariz yang juga dikenali sebagai Wok, lantaran nama neneknya yang aneh lantas menjadi bahan cercaan kawan-kawan sebaya. 'Sori la bang, next week boleh? Kerja banyak sangat lah", tolak Ucop dengan sopan. Silap gaya boleh kena settle kalau tone suara macam biadap. Di sini, semuanya kena hormat. Jangan nak tunjuk hardcore, kelak memang selalu kena hukum, walaupun tak beri salam.

Kelas kosong, barangkali ramai yang pergi menonton filem bootleg di bilik Telesidang di bawah. Malam tu Cikgu Rahmat tayang filem The Crow, pakai VCD cinema copy lepas itu mengenakan bayaran RM2, jadi mungkin ramai yang berhimpit tengok dekat bilik tu. Ucop duduk dan membuka buku latihan dan mula menulis.Sains tingkatan dua sangat memberi tekanan. Ucop selalu berangan untuk cepat-cepat naik tingkatan tiga supaya dia boleh terus belajar tentang bab 1 Sains tingkatan tiga. Terlalu banyak misteri yang mengelilingi chapter tu, kena pula diajar oleh Puan Zaleha yang berdada besar dan seksi..."Ucop!" lamunannya mati dengan tiba-tiba oleh jeritan Fawwaz. "Apa?" pendek balasan Ucop, marah sebab fantasinya melayang tak pasal-pasal. "Abang Acad panggil kau, katanya ada menda penting", beritahu Fawwaz sambil membetulkan cermin matanya. Ucop mengeluh, ni mesti tak suruh ambik air kat water cooler, mesti suruh buatkan homework fizik. Dia tau sangat perangai pemalas si Arshad tu.

"Kau cakap la dengan dia aku ada kerja la" balas Ucop lepas lama berfikir. Fawwaz jadi sikit baran, nak relay mesej ke sana sini bukan kerja yang seronok! Lagi pulak nak naik tangga tonggek tu, "Wei aku penat la nak ulang alik, kau naik la cakap sendiri" lantas terus berpusing keluar dari kelas. Babi! Maki Ucop dalam hati. Dengan hati yang berat dia mengemas barang dan menutup lampu serta kipas dan menuju semula ke hostel. Waktu minum malam dah hampir, Ucop agak mesti Arshad suruh dia ambil sepinggan kuih dengan sejag Milo. Lepas perlahan-lahan mengelak melalui zon larangan antara blok A dan B, Ucop akhirnya tiba di bilik Arshad.

"Abang panggil?" tegur Ucop. Arshad sedang baring di atas katil sambil mendengar walkman. Kelihatan cover kaset Cradle of Filth bertaburan di sebelahnya."Ucop, tolong aku okay?" bunyi macam meminta pertolongan tapi hakikatnya lebih kepada arahan. Ucop mendengus perlahan, "okay, apa dia?". Arshad menunjukkan sehelai uniform sekolah tergantung di tepi tingkap. Ucop faham dah, suruh basuhlah tu. "Nah tangkap!" Arshad lemparkan sebuku sabun basuh. Ucop letakkan buku dan tukar baju lantas menuju ke bilik membasuh. Dalam hatinya memaki hamun Arshad. Baju sehelai pun kau tak nak basuh! Pemalas! Sial! Badan penuh panau! Aku doakan kau fail SPM! Begitulah yang selalu didoakan oleh budak junior kalau dibuli oleh senior yang bad ass.

Bilik membasuh lengang. Hairan tapi mungkin semua pergi minum dekat dewan makan kot. Ucop mula membasahkan uniform Arshad yang berdaki dan masam tu. Sial ni tak reti bersihkan badan ke, tanya Ucop sorang-sorang. Baru saja dia nak tenyeh sabun dan mula memberus, satu idea jahat timbul. Ucop londehkan seluar dan terseringai puas. Lepas tu Ucop kasi kibas sikit lebih kurang terus bawak balik bilik Acad terus jemurkan kat tingkap. Arshad si bangang pulak sibuk layan Cradle of Filth dan tak peduli nak periksa baju dia tu.

Hari Isnin, waktu pengetua tengah berucap, Ucop usha Acad dekat line student form 5 sana. Kelihatan Acad asyik tergaru-garu tak tentu hala. Ucop senyum dan berkata dalam hati, beracun jugak kencing aku ni. Sejak daripada tu, Acad tak kacau lagi Ucop.

True Metal shirts are always littered with spelling and grammatical error

2011-10-20T04:10:00.000+08:00

Baju Eluveitie 'Kernunnos' dah sampai. Design depan lawa dengan api, kepala Ibex bagai. Kat belakang ada pulak ada macam Druid spell... sekali ada typo error! Fuck! Malu saya dibuatnya!

That's why we have level 1 button

2011-10-17T23:07:00.000+08:00

I was getting into a lift when old lady gave me a snicker when she saw me hit the level 1 button.

"Level 1? Using a lift?"

"Yea, level 1, using a lift. How obvious is that" I gave a sarcastic remark, noticing she wants to make fun of me.

"Ahhh nothing, it's just you know, level 1 and you had to wait the lift.. tsk tsk"

"You know, god created Man, and Man created lift, and we make good use of it. I'm just being grateful and make good use of whatever that is created. Plus, the lift comes with level 1 button, so I just push and wait. Simple as that. I don't think you are that dumb to understand this. If you think you are trying to make me look lazy by not using stairs, too bad because I don't give a rat ass about it. Excuse me."

"Uh..mm"

I walked out of the lift, and the old hag must felt silly of attempting to troll a young, angry, emotionally unstable man.

Ni apa gila conteng-conte..eee bulu!

2011-10-16T08:24:00.001+08:00

Gua teringat satu print ads yang charmingly cute dengan subtle sexual undertone. Apa yang lu orang boleh cerita pasal bulu pubis tanpa exactly tunjuk private area seseorang individu (baca:wanita)? Susah eh? Agensi Neogama (peh dekat-dekat dengan senggama siol) membuktikan dengan hanya sedikit scribbling atas kertas lu boleh deliver sebuah idea dengan mantap. Kimak gua jeles betul la dengan sapa yang came up with the idea. Sial!

Body copy: 31 years of Playboy in Brasil

Kredit: Ads of the World

Meow lapar la panda.

2011-10-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

What the fuck girl? There's nothing cute calling yourself meow and your boyfriend panda! Shit, what a retarded generation we are breeding these days! I won't be surprised if in 10 years time lovers will address each other 'butthole' and 'hairy balls', because you know, it sounds very intimate and cute!

I can't hear you bitch!

2011-10-14T19:01:00.000+08:00

*dials*

Hello, good afternoon! Can you direct me to the HR department?

Bzzhh Bkhhhh bghhkk

Excuse me I can't hear you, something is wrong with the line? Hello can you hear me?

Nbbhsghhj Bzzjkkl.

Uh what? Oh sorry wrong ear! You were saying?

HR department speaking. How may I help you sir?

Motherfucking right ear is such a pain the ass, I mean ear.

In reality, I wait at one corner and cry

2011-10-14T00:27:00.000+08:00

Bro when can get my money?

Well I'm not sure la but I'm working on it.

Seriously I need it ASAP, I 'm kinda short of money right now and I have bills to pay

Yea I know but you have to wait.

Okay, then I guess you have to wait at the office lah today.

Wait where the fuck are going? What the fuck are you doing?

I'd like to taste your meat

2011-10-06T03:14:00.001+08:00

Riak

2011-10-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

Best siot pakai headphone Adidas Originals by Sennheiser ni. Ok tu je nak cakap.

Ehek ehek

2011-10-01T02:45:00.000+08:00

I think I have extreme taste in music, because I listen to Kylie Minogue and Marduk at the same time. K tu aje, nak sambung menulis lagi, kalau saya engineer mesti saya dah tidur pada waktu ni.

Hari ni hang dekat Pavi pastu jumpa boy tu hensem sangatttttt

2011-09-28T22:08:00.001+08:00

You know you are reading a 16 years old girl blog when:

-All entries are almost the same: boys, boys, boys

-Bitching about peers

-Re-defining the definition of being hot, and defending herself that she's not hot and will never be

-Emotional breakdown caused by break up of which occur every 5 days

-Occasional entries of BFF (despite the fact they are just online buddies, and never actually hang out together)

-A weekly report of weekend activities, usually involves bits of drama, bitching and of course, boys.

Now why an old fart like me wasted 10 minutes of my life reading stuff like this?

ArTURD's Day

2011-09-25T12:39:00.000+08:00

Dragon Red merupakan band nu-metal yang poser dan poyo, dan Taio Cruz berwajah macam lelaki gatal. Kesimpulannya Arthur's Day memang cibai. Gua takkan hadir lagi konsert anjuran syarikat arak bodoh macam Guinness. Aloud Asia on the other hand memang terbaik walaupun crowd tak ramai. Btw handphone gua dah jahanam masa kat Arthur's Day. Shit.Sepanjang waktu balik tu mulut gua bising cakap konsert Taio Cruz ni memang bangsat.

|

2011-09-22T01:14:00.002+08:00

I'm fucking Lou, who the fuck are you?

Back-up Copywriter.

Smart.

Lagi pendek daripada Napalm Death - You Suffer. Malahan lebih pendek daripada anda sebut Bajingan.

2011-09-20T15:28:00.000+08:00

Hai,amik la tempat duduk saya

2011-09-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

Gua dihantui rasa bersalah. Gua rasa gua gagal membuat tindakan betul. Gua rasa gua gagal jadi contoh yang baik kepada anak-anak muda. Gua rasa gua gagal menyumbang kepada pembangunan moral masyarakat madani.

Gua tak bagi sorang perempuan ni duduk kat LRT tadi.

Masalahnya gua tak tau dia pregnant ke simply buncit lemak. Nak ditanya pulak takut bodoh tolol terang-terang perut dia macam mengandung. MACAM. Macam mana kalau dia tak mengandung sebaliknya boroi? Gua tak sanggup kena tangan depan orang ramai dek tanya soalan macam tu.

Jadi gua buat-buat tidur. Macam Afdlin Aman Ramli dalam TVC budi bahasa tu. Gua syak dia sebenarnya melalui dilema yang sama macam gua time tu. Jadi pada gua berat mata memandang, berat lagi perut yang sarat memikul. Tolong paham sikit.

Zon terlarang antara blok A dan B

2011-09-16T02:35:00.000+08:00

Ucop memang skeptikal sedari kecil. Hantu setan momok hatta UFO memang dia tak percaya langsung. tapi Ultraman (terutamanya Ace, sebab khunsa) dan Satria Baja Hitam dia percaya pulak wujud. Sikap tak percaya perkara-perkara aneh dan pelik ni terbawa-bawa sampai Ucop masuk ke sekolah berasrama penuh. Minggu pertama orientasi, waktu assembly* di hostel yang dianjurkan oleh senior tingkatan 4 (dan jugak segelintir tingkatan 3 yang terasa gangster)mengingatkan pelajar-pelajar tingkatan 1 agar tidak sesekali melalui kawasan lapang berumput di antara blok A dan B. Fawwaz, budak katil sebelah Ucop, memang jenis suka bertanya sekonyong-konyong tu jugak melayangkan pertanyaan ' abang, kenapa pulak kitorang tableh lalu?', yang merupakan satu taboo dalam assembly, yakni tak boleh bertanya sebelum sesi tamat. Selepas disauk barang sepenumbuk dua ke perut, barulah Fawwaz mendapat jawapan.

"Sebab kat kawasan tu ada UFO waktu malam" jawapan yang buat semua junior dalam bilik tu terkedu dan telan air liur. "Kitorang sayang korang, kitorang tanak korang kena apa-apa okay" jelas senior yang badan paling berketul tu, dengan nada abang kawasan. Semenjak arahan tu dikeluarkan, takde seorang pun budak tingkatan satu lalu kawasan berumput tu, malahan kawasan blok A dan B. Takut punya pasal. Tepat pukul 11 malam semua dah siap berkelubung dalam selimut kat katil masing-masing. Mana-mana yang nak kencing tu kena berteman, mana yang lapar nak snacking tengah malam kenalah bertahan sampai esok.

Ucop tak puas hati. Dia mana percaya UFO semua ni, dia rasa dia nak buktikan kata-kata senior tu salah. Malahan dia berazam nak buktikan senior yang bajet tough malam semalam tu sebenarnya penakut. Malam tu lepas prep Ucop usha-usha kawasan yang dikatakan selalu ada UFO tu. Takde apa-apa pun. Ucop kumpulkan keberanian sebelum melangkah ke kawasan berumput tu. Sekali. Takde apa-apa. Ucop ronda lagi.

Bunyi berdesup melepasi telinga Ucop. Babi! Serangan alien! Jerit batin Ucop. Suppp! Supp! Supp! Sial UFO serang aku ni, tukas Ucop sambil elak benda aneh yang berdesup-desup menjunam ke tanah berumput situ. Ucop dongak ke sumber serangan tu.

"Woi, kau pegi dewan makan, amik aku kuih untuk supper, aa tu piring aku.Cepat sikit!"

"Weh kau hantar pinggan aku tu pegi dining hall!'

"Woi form one! Kau ingat piring aku tu boleh pergi sendiri dining hall ke nak amik kuih?Deras!"

Shit. Patut la diorang kata jangan lalu situ. UFO konon sumpah Ucop tak berhenti-henti ke dewan makan.

*Assembly - perhimpunan haram dianjurkan oleh senior-senior dengan memanggil junior-junior berkumpul di dalam sebuah bilik. Selalu diiringi upacara menghukum junior, namun tidak semestinya diakhiri dengan pukul-memukul.

Limbus Careerum

2011-09-13T01:59:00.000+08:00

Limbo rock adalah sebuah permainan yang selalu dimainkan dekat parti-parti (sekarang instead main limbo rock, anak-anak muda lebih gemar emm, main romen) manakala limbo pula adalah istilah yang merujuk kepada keadaan bila mana roh berada terawang-awang antara syurga dan neraka (istilah paling dekat, Barzakh). Istilah yang tak pernah wujud adalah Career Limbo, di mana lu tak tau hala tuju karier lu, tak tau sama ada sekarang ni lu jobless ke masih employed. Eh ada ke?Hey-low, how low can you go?

FWD FWD FWD FWD

2011-09-10T00:48:00.000+08:00

Demi Islam tercinta, saya forwardkan email yang mengandungi senarai makanan/produk tidak halal kepada kenalan saya walaupun saya tak pernah melakukan background check terhadap allegations dalam email tersebut. Tak mengapa, janji saya dah berbakti untuk agama tercinta saya. Apa? Awak panggil saya pelampau agama? Bedebah, darah awak halal dibunuh!

Of Dwindling Sanity and Coins

2011-09-09T16:48:00.001+08:00

Gua ada satu bekas plastik yang gua jadikan tempat simpan syiling. Banyak sekali syiling gua rupanya sampai nak terkoyak seluar gua simpan, jadi gua amik bekas ni buat simpan syiling. Tapi sekarang, amboi syiling tu dah makin susut, hari demi hari.Pada gua syiling tu represent gua punya kewarasan, bila makin kurang kewarasan gua makin decline. Ha, go figure lah apa sebenarnya jadi.

Bahasa Melayu A1

2011-09-04T18:50:00.000+08:00

Bahasa Melayu: Siapa makan cili, terasa pedasnya

Bahasa Inggeris: Butthurt

Ehek

2011-09-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

"Weh, kau rasa ejaan betul dia justeru ke jesteru ah?"

"Kau pergi google"

"Babi."

Betul tau

2011-09-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

"Eeeeeeeee lawanya you ngan baju raya ni.Chomel shangatttt!"

'Ihikk, maneww adeww. Titew buruk lorhhh"

"Oh fine.You ni buruk, termasuk baju you. Ihikz"

'Herhkk...'

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.

30 saat menitis air mata

2011-08-31T19:11:00.000+08:00

Kenapa iklan raya semua berlumba-lumba nak jadi iklan paling touching dan melankolik? Orang Melayu suka dramatik ke? Kalau perayaan lain takde pulak ye?

Sampul duit raya

2011-08-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

"Pak Long, tahun ni Pak Long dah start bagi duit raya kan?Hehehe"

*Raba poket sendiri*

"Emm, korang bagi no akaun Maybank korang, Pak Long transfer je pakai e-banking k? Dah pegi main jauh-jauh."

Capp capp cap

2011-08-29T15:07:00.000+08:00

"Ada masanya kau akan rasa sayang nak tinggalkan sesuatu tempat tu. Ada masanya kau tak sabar nak angkat kaki."

"Sekarang apa kau rasa?"

"Rasa...okay aku rasa nak berak."

-perbualan dengan meja kosong, NagaDDB, sehari sebelum raya.

Amboi.

2011-08-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

"Tak shopping baju raya kewww youuu"

"Dah."

"Tak nampak pun keluar rumah beli. Ke dah beli sebulan lepas? Takpun pakai baju tahun lepas ek ek ek?"

"Tak tak tak. I beli online je. Senang. Terus hantar depan rumah. Selesai. Tak payah nak busuk-busuk berebut kat Jalan Tar."

"Wau, baju apa you beli?"

"Baju band black metal"

Papapapaparam

2011-08-28T00:57:00.000+08:00

Harald yang berasal dari Denmark sangat teruja bila pertama kali menjejakkan kaki di Kuala Lumpur. Telahan beliau tentang Malaysia merupakan syurga makanan telah terbukti betul (sebenarnya dia Google), apatah lagi dia tiba di sini menjelang Ramadan. Tiap-tiap hari Harald akan melawat bazar Ramadan atau dikenali dengan nama yang sedikit aneh yakni PARAM.

"Sounds like my Indian lecturer's name back in uni" cetus Harald bila ditanya pasal tu.

Tapi satu je dia tak suka bila Ramadan. Bila malam KL jadi macam medan perang. Boom sana boom sini macam kena air raid. Dia teringat macam London air raid, padahal dia baca kat Wikipedia. Ada sekali kawan ofis dia datang melawat waktu malam, terjumpa Harald menyorok dalam bath tub. Bila ditanya, "They're bombing the city every night during Ramadan? This is sick,man!". Harald dari Denmark, dan ini kali pertama dia menjejakkan kaki di KL di bulan Ramadan.

F yea

2011-08-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

Dapat pulang awal ke rumah merupakan antara nikmat dunia terbaik. Period.

Too lazy to write anything at the moment.

Penulisan automatik

2011-08-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

I feel guilty for abandoning Dissecting the Euphony. It's been a while since I last posted my article there and I don't feel like writing, at least for the moment. Dah burnout kot. The fact that I have to juggle three jobs (well, two to be exact) at the same time is really driving me insane. I'll be back for DtE. Definitely. But until then, I really need to chill the fuck out.

We all want to have a good life, who doesn't want to?

2011-07-31T22:30:00.000+08:00

Kalau tuhan tu benar-benar wujud, aku cuma mintak sekali je dia tunjuk kekuasaanNya supaya aku yakin yang dia tu maha adil dan tau dia mendengar permintaan hambaNya.

Ramadhan kali ni, tak ada makna pun. barangkali Raya pun sama.

There are certain facts that I can't face at the moment, I feel life is very unfair. That said, I wish death would come greet me sooner. At least, I can put this torment to end.

I wish I have somebody to talk to, unfortunately I don't have one. You call your life pathetic? Well, you haven't see mine.

I curse you, in fact, I curse everything.

Awas tapir melintas

2011-07-24T03:05:00.000+08:00

Once, a young woman blurted out a sentence that I take it very personal to my heart.

"Kau takde kereta kau jangan cakap banyak"

Well, apparently not owning a transportation (in my case, a car) will make you look less cool and people will look you down. And then I began to fantasize this:

One day, when I have my own car (I will name it Vaskania), preferably a black Peugeot 308, the first thing I will do is to find that woman, knock her over from the sidewalk and then proceed to run her over.Twice. Or more. Or until she becomes a bloody mess. And then I will step out from the car and say "You mad?".

A violent and morbid fantasy indeed.

This time, it's serious. It's been too long.

2011-07-23T04:30:00.000+08:00

I thank god and individuals who have been very helpful in helping me to get back on track. Time to run and start conquering the world again. One small step at a time, I told myself.

Distractions from the truth we dare not to face

2011-07-21T01:52:00.001+08:00

I have learnt that life itself comprises of yin and yang. Balance. Bad and good. When a good news comes in, you better be ready because a bad news will follow soon after. Vice versa. I guess that is why there's an old saying you better not be overjoyed because you might be crying blood later.I've been living a..how should I put this, a life that I'd never imagined I will ever go through. I came to a point that I say to myself, "Fuck everything, bro. Just go on. If you feel like not doing it, ditch it". I pictured myself plagued by depression for the next few weeks, locking myself in my room, staring into emptiness and waiting for something REAL bad to happen. I even imagined myself died in sleep. And then it came.

With strings of unlucky happenings took place previously, came a news that worth for what I've been waiting for so long. And then, another bad news looming at the horizon.You can't leave me for long, do ya? Then I feel like having someone that I could share with. Someone worth to listen to my stories. Another problem. I don't have one. I never had one. Not that I never tried. I can go and cry to a total stranger but a question will remain. Will it worth it? I decided to keep it to myself and I wonder. Am I worth to anybody? Or have I been repulsive and insensitive to everybody?

"Hello, may I speak to *bleep*?"

"Speaking"

"I have something to tell you. Where are you now?"

"Outside.Taking a stroll.What, it's about your *bleep*, is it not?"

"Well..uh yeah.Look, can we talk later when you are home?"

"What's the problem. Tell me now lah."

"No uhh, it's not appropriate to talk when you are doing something else. Can we talk once you are home?"

"I'll be home late.."

"No no problem, I'm not working tomorrow.."

"But I'm working. I'll be tired when I reach home"

"Umm okay. I talk to you soon, I guess"

"Yeah"

I felt like going for a shower once I hang the phone. I felt like crying under the cold trickling shower. So I can pretend I never cry because my tears flow together with the cold water running down my face. I feel empty.

Empty. I feel very lonely. I feel like I'm going back to October 2008. Those agonizing moments ran back into my mind. And here, I am contemplating whether I can make it through once again and live to remember it.

And this, will always playing in my mind whenever I feel down.

You disgusting pile of shi....

2011-07-10T11:57:00.000+08:00

God damn it, bila lu tetiba je galak dengar lagu jiwang macam Anuar Zain ke George Michael, pastu mula nak jaga appearance, baju nak iron selalu, mula pakai balik perfume, rambut mula mau jaga, janggut sudah tamau simpan, kuku selalu pendek, lepas makan sibuk nak floss gigi, selalu tengok cermin pastu sibuk nak kuruskan badan, selalu lawat blog jiwang kongkang eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii apa semua tu? Dah tu sebelum tido tangan letak atas dahi, sengih sorang-sorang what the fuck bro? What the fuck eeeeeeeeee. Dah mula nak rasa connection dengan other human being? All ties must be severed! babasgatwvawasoasaladp! Ok nak dengar Arrora Salwa dulu.

We are autonomous robotic organism.

2011-07-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

Transformers live action film trilogy is finally completed. Personally I think it's far from complete. You say Megatron is the main bad ass villain? No you are freaking wrong. It's Unicron! Yes, only if they feature Unicron, Transformers saga is completed! So uh anyway, I've been listening to Transformers:Prime soundtrack. TF:P is the latest TF cartoon series. TF:P is by far the most interesting series of all (Beast Wars and G1 are my personal favourite as well). Peter Cullen is voicing Prime again! Fuck yeah.

This soundtrack should be in the live action film. Brian Tyler is on par with Steve Jablonsky!

Who the fuck are you? Cornelius, Rupert, Bob?

2011-06-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

I don't really know myself, as long as I can remember. I was born with a name, but I always believe I had another name, a REAL name. I believe I'm a spirit trapped in someone's body, for the last 20++ years. Could I have been a lost spirit that was banished to live in an unwilling host? Or am I a spirit that is made up from three different individuals, each possesses its own characteristics? I don't really know. I am not even sure if this is really me writing this. This could be an automatic writing, who knows. Who cares. Whenever I spend time thinking, I always feel like I am having a conversation with 2 separate individuals, when the reality is I communicate with myself, only me and nobody else. Like just now, when I was driving Laici's car, I was all alone I started talking to myself, complete with 2 different voices and attitude. I cannot really explain that, it's just making me feel scared of myself. Did I really asleep? Or did I wake up as another person? I have three alter egos that I am aware of, but there could be more.

He who shall not be named

The one who is writing this. My name, well you don't have to know my name. I don't play any significant role in your life, so my name does not matter to you. He who shall not be named is the main entity. The one who run all the main functions. Basically, me in my real state of consciousness. The plain Joe you meet in the streets, the writer that you despise so much, the quite depressive man who suffers from chronic self esteem problem. Yeap that's me. He who shall not be named despises reality and everybody in general. He rejects all type of kindness... why the fuck am I writing in 3rd person view? Okay, I reject all types of kindness and love. I believe every man is for himself therefore kindness should not come in between. Love, ahh love. Love makes you all weak and pathetic. Therefore I abstain myself from almost all form of love. I still love my family though. I've met some of amazing females but none of them I really want to establish a relationship with. It's simple. I don't trust people and I worth for nobody. Yes I worth for nobody. If you know me in real life, you'd agree with me of how a sore loser I am. Nuff said.

Boboy

Boboy manifested whenever I'm under pressure whether it's a negative or positive pressure. Boboy possesses childlike manners, referring himself in third person and deviated far from my normal self. Recently some of my friends beginning to cal me Boboy, to which I feel uncomfortable. Boboy also have the tendency to express his longing to be at home with his mother and family.

A is for Anomaly

A is by far, the longest alter ego I have since my break up with the Chinese girl. A is for Anomaly is bitter and emotionally disturbed individual. Most of the time A pretend to be an insensitive jerk and critical towards everybody around him. A can't take rejection and as a result he became prejudice and hold the view that the world is against him. As such A will surface whenever I am deeply stressed and serve as a function for me to start exploring other options in life. A is a metalhead in particular and loves music in general. That is how Dissecting the Euphony is born, where A believe he can channel all his frustrations into writing.

3 in 1. What about you?

And that is why I feel like running away and assume new identity.

2011-06-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

Advertising has these people chasing cars and clothes they don't need.Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what they don't really need - Tyler Durden

Genius Mr Tyler. If only Ampang has its own Fight Club,I'd definitely attend one. Punching strangers and showing up to work tomorrow with bruised face and broken teeth.

Uh-huh

2011-06-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

Bila di siang hari kau jadi penulis, takkan di waktu lapang pun nak menulis? Gila ke apa? Sebab tu gua dah jarang menulis. Ok tengs.

Skittish, tapi tu la hakikatnya.

2011-05-15T18:53:00.000+08:00

SAPA NAK CERITA DENGAN GUA LAGI PASAL GIRLS' GENERATION? SAPA LAGI NAK SPAM GUA DENGAN VIDEO-VIDEO SOOYOUNG?SAPA LAGI NAK SHARE LINK ALL K-POP NEWS? GILA BABI RASA LOST WEH. KENAPEWWWWWWWWW~ HUHUK.

ON A SIDE NOTE,

Yayyy dah sampai! Tapi yang ni.....

Takde kaitan kot.Hukhuk.

Fenomena Rock 1 2011

2011-05-01T02:25:00.000+08:00

Saja gatal nak post. Set Raptor masa Fenomena Rock itu hari. Malas nak cerita sangat, tapi overall oklah. Tapi band-band lama yang main memang kick ass...kecuali Desire yang below expectation. Pastu gua nak buat pengakuan ni, masa gig tu jugak baru gua nak appreciate band-band lama hahahahahaha!

Of repulsive and being repulsed

2011-04-27T23:56:00.000+08:00

I always believe in give and take. I believe everything must have yin and yang. Which is why whenever I do something I always expect something in return. Fuck sincerity, since when we humans are being sincere? So whenever I lower my ego, please give some respect. It's not everyday I do that. I assumed you (whoever you might be).. it's either you are too stupid to realize or you are just fooling around. You are just too complex to understand. Don't make me lose my interest, do not.

Okay, perhaps I was too harsh. I'm sorry. But I don't wish to say this to you, because you might don't understand it, so I rather write it down here.

This is A signing off.

Blog ni memang untuk show off pasal harta dan segala.Bitch.

2011-03-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

Rilek la derrr. Ramai je bitches buat blog diorang untuk tayang menda-menda diorang tu beli (atau kikis,samada duit family atau boyfie +____+), gua ingat gua pun nak buat ah kahkah!

Darkthrone Watch

[sebenarnya gua dah 4 tahun takde jam tangan jadi sesuai sangat la beli seutas jam tangan yang baru.]

Eluveitie Evocation 1 tee

Borknagar Universal tee

I memang kaya dan mampu, dan I pasti you pun tak mampu memilik harta meredak seumpama ini *tangan di dada, mata pandang ke atas*. Tihtihtih.

post-script: sebenarnya duk tunggu je barang-barang ni sampai,sebab semalam gua dah bayar deposit dah.Eeee syioknyewwww~ Bitch gila post menda-menda camni.

Abang A's shopping list, yes I'm a lazy fuck.

2011-03-06T15:03:00.000+08:00

This is probably not the appropriate place to list down my shopping list but what the fuck I'm too lazy to jot them down. I really need to plan my budget since you-know-what-happened-last-2-weeks.

-I'm in a dire need to get a new computer. Netbook should be okay and within my budget (since I no longer do designing shits etc), as long I can do some writing, watching movies, surfing the net and load all the music I want, itu dah cukup. RM 1500 is the max I can spend.

-Since Fahim moved out of the apartment, I am left without washing machine. It's pretty much uncomfortable to drag my dirty laundry to momma's home every week. Long story short, a decent washing machine would solve the problem. I honestly don't know what's the standard price for a normal automatic washing machine, but then that's the purpose of doing some research (electrical appliances store visits, price comparison). RM 600 cukup ke?

- And for the same reason above, no TV as well. Heaven knows how devastated I was when I learned I cannot play my Playstation (it's mine and Fahim, but I'm paying his half soon yadayada so jadi gua punya ah). Well I'm not into those HD flat screen mothercrapping TV, a second hand CRT tube TV pun ok gak. As long I can watch TV and play games. RM 200 max.

- I'm a terrible drummmer and I'm always the liability to my band. Good thing they are kind enough to tolerate me. I've been eyeing on the practice pad for quite some time. Not that pricey, for snare pad it costs RM 50. Unless I feel like splurging on the bass drum pad as well, its gonna cost around RM 200. Naww I think I just stick to the snare pad.RM 50 max.

-A sofa! Yes, a perfect gaming experience should not be without a comfy nice sofa! Not a sofa set though, just a single sofa for myself to slouch in front of the TV.I don't know the price I'm going to check it out soon. RM 200 max kira ok ke?

- A CD rack

-New glasses/contact lens

-3 CDs

-Some band merchandise [shirt,sweater etc]

-Ohh ohh Internet :D

I think that should be enough for now.

It's like Siti Nurhaliza on K (pun intended).

2011-03-06T12:53:00.000+08:00

The Kilimanjaro Darkjazz Ensemble baru je rilis album terbaru diorang (yang dibiayai oleh fan mereka sendiri) yang bertajuk From The Stairwell. Sebenarnya gua bukan fan sangat dengan TKDE sebab gua lebih fancy dengan alter ego mereka iaitu The Mount Fuji Doomjazz Corporation yang nyata lebih bad ass dengan sound drone dan noise. Tapi macam ada sikit tangkap pulak dengan hasil terbaru ni. Lebih dreamy, dan membuai-buai perasaaan. Petikan daripada tkde.net

"THE KILIMANJARO DARKJAZZ ENSEMBLE are a project which has always been tied to films. Films are luxurious because they dispose of all these boring, unimportant, and trivial parts of our lives. This allows them to fully control our sensations, to put us in a very specific mood. Joy and sadness are occasionally OK, endless joy or endless sadness are clinical. But there is one sensation which can be persistent and unconditionally bearable at the same time. In the absence of a better alternative, let's call it "the mood". The mood is what TKDE are aiming at. The mood.

The mood is infinite and illimitable, but not uniform and unique. On "From The Stairwell", TKDE deliver eight new incarnations of the mood. Stairwells have always been intriguing. They appear to unavoidably lead you to your destination, but they only disclose the path bit by bit. What lies far ahead of you and far beyond you is hidden in the shadows. The stairwell could just as well be infinite. You climb up this murky stairwell, passing by many doors. Every door contains a variation of the mood, a short film, a song. You open the first one, "All Is One". The evaporating mist discloses a large and empty room with a barstool in the middle. On the barstool, a chanteuse from the roaring twenties. Her voice starts to trigger vibrations of the ground, the walls start spiralling around her, but she remains untouched in the eye of the storm. Second room, "Giallo". Sly guy, telling smile, nice suit. Walking down the streets in the dusk. The ambience starts to get out of phase, the guy stumbles in horror while blending with the surrounding to a brown soup. Fourth room. "Cocaine". Naked people with pig heads crawl on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. They try to hopelessly suck up the white dust which covers every single piece of this room and is constantly spit out by tubes coming out of the walls. Dissonant sounds accompany the work of this desperate hive. As the people manage to counteract the tubes, fragile melodies start to overpower the dissonances. Sixth room, "Cotard Delusion". Baby morphing into a black fluid morphing into an old man which turns his eyes inwards and finds his inside to be completely empty. The journey up the stairwell, down the stairwell, continues. The pictures fill your head and make you forget where you wanted to go in the first place.

"From The Stairwell" is a surprise and a logical step at the same time. It is a surprise because the songs are far less beat-driven in comparison to TKDE's earlier works, and even contain a few hopeful tints here and there. It is a logical step because in the end each song turns to have a very diverse dramaturgic flow. This could raise the conjecture that TKDE, initially started out to make music for existing and non-existing films, wanted to incorporate the audiovisual impression completely into songs, making the films superfluous. At times, "From The Stairwell" makes you think of 60's soundtracks, but the organic feeling of those is always interwoven with mechanical elements. Altogether, every single of the numerous details present in TKDE's new songs feels to be at the right place and you can either just dive into the mood or pick one of the many aspects and enjoy it on its own - be it Gideon Kiers' beats & fx, Jason Kˆhnen's bass & piano, Hilary Jeffery's trombone, Charlotte Cegarra's voice & piano, Eelco Bosman's guitar, Nina Hitz' cello, Sarah Anderson's violin, or - appearing as guest musicians - EirÌkur ”li ”lafsson's trumpet and Coen Kaldeway's saxophone & bass clarinet."

Susah pulak gua nak nyatakan dalam bentuk ayat, yang penting album ni bertumpu kepada mood. Kadang-kadang dengar rasa macam berada dalam suasana antara sedar dan tidur, macam stoned pun ada, atau boleh kata ia very sublime.Uplifting. Whatever. Pilihan gua adalah White Eyes dan Celladoor.

Now please excuse me while I lock myself in the room. I need to do some soul searching.

White power

2011-02-27T00:31:00.004+08:00

Damn I look good in white. Uh-huh.

Gua lupa nak cakap, sejak minggu lepas gua secara rasmi dah bergelar pelajar semula. Part time. Oh tak tak bukan Masters, sekadar kelas untuk memantapkan kemahiran menulis (sebab boss wa cakap gua incompetent tsk). A blessing in disguise indeed, kelas tu memang best dan nampak macam ada peluang untuk melebarkan network ke dalam industri periklanan. Mungkin ya, mungkin la kot.

The company scored a big time punya profit last year, sampaikan telah memecah rekod terbaik, all time!Jadinya, Jumaat lepas, semua telah menuai hasil kerja keras untuk sepanjang tahun lepas. It's almost imposible to not see a single person yang tak tersenyum sepanjang hari tu. Dah dapat bonus sengih ah. BIG FAT BONUS. Lucky bastards. But they deserved it. Jadi lepas kerja Jumaat tu gua dan geng biasa tuju ke German Deli dan celeburittttttttttttt!1 liter beer dan XXL beef burger fuck yeah!

Lambang kasih seorang Abah. Gua nak jadi cam dia lah.

2011-02-16T19:27:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Abah dengan mak gua barangkali parents yang paling cool di seluruh dunia. Selain daripada memberi makan pakai dan pendidikan yang cukup, mereka juga kadang-kadang membelikan gua stuff seperti...di atas. Iya, Dimmu Borgir - Abrahadabra jewelcase. HAHAHAAHAHAH! Terima kasih abah! Ke mana tidak tumpahnya kuah kalau tak ke atas nasik. Abah, you rules!

Fear the Bogeyman!

2011-02-13T14:20:00.000+08:00

*Gua terlewat nak post ni tapi apa ada hal kan, patutnya minggu lepas tapi ah whatever. As Sahar rules!

TERBAIK! GILA AH SEMALAM SET AS SAHAR YANG PALING TIGHT SEMENJAK LAUNCHING TIR PADA 2008!

Playlist:

-Depressive Monsoon

-Dari Jaan

-My Hymns in the East

-Fear the Bogeyman

-Tinggam

-Senandung Suralaya (excerpt)

-Possi Lana dari Celebes

-Meditasi Embun Pagi

Rasa macam ada missing kot tapi yang penting gua sangat enjoy dengan persembahan Samartary dan As Sahar semalam! The best!

*Foto diambil dari FB Wan Barchiel.

Encountering Madness: 21

2011-02-12T14:08:00.000+08:00

All my life, I'm a refugee. I find myself always running away from the reality. But for how long, I cannot confirm. There will come the day where I have to face my demon and call it a quit. But until then, I'm on the run.

Nak buat macam mana kan?

2011-01-27T12:11:00.000+08:00

"Tu la kau, selalu mintak kerja tempat jauh-jauh. Bangsar la, Damansara la. Kan jauh dari rumah tu"

"......"

Sekerat jalan

2011-01-20T01:52:00.001+08:00

CD Prognosis: Death dah sampai kat tangan gua few days ago. The vocalist personally deliver the CD kat gua di Bangsar, Lepas dah putar berkali-kali, gua boleh masuk pulak dengar Southern Metal (Metalcore mungkin) bawaan diorang. Pandangan gua? Koboi! Rasanya ni first product Southern Metal Malaysia yang seumpamanya gua dengar. Review di DtE akan menyusul, dan mungkin interview sekali. Gua sebenarnya belum bayar CD tu hahaha sebab CIMB cash deposit kat LRT Bangsar rosak pulak. Esok tengok ah camne.

Pundek. Malas lak nak tulis.

2010: A Summary

2011-01-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

Gua sebenarnya tak sempat nak tulis menda-menda 2010, tapi hari ni gua rasa gatal tangan nak tulis, kenapa tidak kan?

2010: Summary

-Bermula dengan memulakan karier baru yakni Copywriter. Malangnya lepas setahun karier masih belum lift off.

-Pertama kali dalam hidup, gua mengalami um..pengsan. Di tempat kerja, baik punya hentak dinding. Merasa gua kena tolak ke klinik pakai wheelchair. Rupanya paras gula rendah. Cam tak caya pulak. Pagi tu gua selamba je makan nasik goreng dengan teh o ais. Tak cukup gula mendanya. Doktor classify ni isolated case.The incident costed me almost RM600 (medical expenses) + RM 200 (glasses gua pecah aa). Gua syak ni adalah permulaan kepada insiden laik jugak iaitu vertigo.

-Pertama kali gua buat kerja gila dengan melancong ke sana sini secara berterusan, back to back. Setiap hujung minggu tiada di KL dan menghilang ke tempat lain. Redang-Thailand-Perhentian. Sudahnya gua jadi sedikit rentung. Takpe,puas hati dapat berjalan-jalan. Kat Redang dapat tengok hidupan laut (gua tak penah snorkeling seumur hidup gua,dan gua takut air hahahaha!), kat Thailand gua puas melalak lagu Metallica kat Hard Rock Pattaya dan melawat club err..well you don't want to know., kat Perhentian gua cari ketenangan dengan duduk ngadap laut and do nothing.

-Balik dari pecutian semua tu gua mula menghidap Vertigo yang berterusan sampai sekarang. Sekarang dah kurang sedikit, berkat semangat melawan yang masih bersisa.

-Setelah berhempas pulas (dicampur rasa malas), gua berjaya jugak dapatkan lesen, dengan menggunakan duit gua kumpul sendiri. Maaf, kereta tak disertakan sekali. Makanya gua kena kumpul lagi duit lah.[Peringatan untuk berusaha keras la ni sebenarnya]

-Dapat perform setelah bertahun-tahun tak perform. Kat One Cafe dengan band-band bermacam jenis macam Subculture, Qharinth, Tools and Trades etc.

-Belajar macam mana nak membeli stuff secara online. Hasilnya gua berjaya bid limited edition Eluvetie Evocation 1 dan juga purchase hoodie Eluveitie: Slania

-Berjaya mendapat CD straight dari Norway, iaitu Burzum dan Borknagar!

-Berpindah ke rumah sendiri setelah sekian lama mengidam tempat sendiri.

Honestly, semenjak bekerja ni gua takde la write down goals just like I used to. Agaknya tu 2010 agak terbarai dan takde hala tuju. Ah menda dah lepas.

An automatic writing III

2011-01-01T11:10:00.000+08:00

So uh, happy new year I guess? Too much to write, too much to think at the moment. 2011 is gonna be a busy year. More transitions to make, more new people to meet.

yours truly,

A/SdK

The Adult Playground

2010-12-11T00:34:00.006+08:00

1 year ago, somewhere in the 5th floor of Petrosains...

A man in red jacket, indicating he is someone important in the small training room, with in front of him 44 ++ young men and women sitting and listening to him as he gave them a briefing. Then, he came out with a simple question, which more or less like this: "Look around this room, the interior, the surrounding..everything. Tell me the first thing to come into your mind"As he laid his eyes on the young group of men and women, expecting one or two of them to answer him.

A young woman,clad in tudung raise her hand and answer "A discovery centre?" to which the man in red jacket nod indifferently. Second later the room was filled with voices,each and everyone is trying to give their input.

A man, in dark blue jacket, bearded and with wild looks, sat at among the last rows, fixing his eyes on the crowd. He kept his thoughts running in his mind, waiting the right time to share his mind. The bearded guy raised his hand. There was an aura that could turn everyone heads into looking at him when he raised his hand. It was an aura that suggest malignancy, rather than charisma. And he said" You wanna know what I think? I tell you what I think!" he paused for a moment, very brief but everyone felt as if the time stood still. "Well, I think..." he raised his head and gave the man in red jacket a cold, mean stare that could turned his knees to tofu, "I think of an adult playground". He gave a satisfied look when he finished his sentence, to which everybody stared him back in peculiar reaction. Some even can't helped chuckling among themselves, as quiet as possible to not offend the bearded guy.

But he did not give a heed as he was smiling to himself. He knew it was stupid, but what more important to him to turned the situation where everybody was serious to awkward.

"Adult playground? That sounds so wrong" the guy in red jacket replied, shot bearded dude with a weird expression. Heh.

That was 1 year ago. I miss my Petrosains buddies.

Nightsky

2010-12-05T20:02:00.001+08:00

Gua rasa agak down all of sudden. Kejap lagi gua nak jalan sorang-sorang dan berfikir, the usual thing I always do. Gua dapat ketenangan tiap kali berjalan dalam gelap sambil tengok bangunan KL bercahaya di waktu malam.Entah kenapa lepas tu macam lega. Living a mediocre life, di mana orang sekeliling tak berapa pedulikan gua, kadang-kadang buat gua rasa beri kekuatan gua untuk jadi diri sendiri. Bebas dari prejudis orang lain, bebas dari pandangan skeptikal orang lain. Barangkali ini ke freedom yang gua selalu nak?Ah gua nak keluar ah.

Kenapa bilik ni rasa berpusing?

2010-12-05T05:08:00.000+08:00

Pernah sekali dua tak jadi lu terbaring dalam bilik, perhati siling lepas tu tak buat apa-apa? Dalam kepala terlalu banyak benda bermain-main sampai tak sedar lu dah tenung siling dekat sejam?

TURNING POINT. Berapa ramai dari kita dah mencapai turning point dah merubah hidup? Gua? Tak pasti dah sampai ke belum tapi ini mungkin dah mencapai ke perhetian yang entah ke berapa atau pun...barely start pun. TURNING POINT. Gua ingatkan diri sendiri, jangan cepat puas hati, jangan cepat patah hati.

Dulu cikgu tanya apa impian saya..

2010-11-05T14:44:00.001+08:00

Sekarang saya dah boleh jawab dah. Cikgu, saya nak wujudkan sebuah band Doom Metal yang berkiblatkan Peaceville Three iaitu My Dying Bride, Anathema dan Paradise Lost!

Apa cita-cita awak pulak? Alamak, nak kawin terus lepas habis sekolah? Ughh banyak baca novel cinta ni!Pentewas!

2.0

2010-11-02T23:45:00.001+08:00

Probably what I need in the end is, 'you' version 2.0. That's right. Therefore, until I found the 2.0 'you', all searching effort will be halted. And I need to distance myself from everybody. Or else I'll be losing my sanity. Fuck you if you don't understand this.

Dugaan banyak, kesabaran nipis

2010-10-31T02:24:00.000+08:00

Been a very stressful week.

Something came up at workplace. Turned out one of the ad keluar kat newspaper screwed up and jadi buruk. Full page jadi buruk. Berwarna pulak tu.So the client wasn't amused with what happened and refused to pay for the ads. The cost? RM 35k. Holy mother of shit. Upon inspection on the FA (final artwork) they found my signature. Meaning it was me who approved it to appear on the next's day newspaper (along with the signature of designer and exec designer). And I overlooked it. Fuck, why did I signed it at the first place? Now I know my signature worth RM35k! Agak-agak lu punya signature yang hodoh tu berapa harga? Long story short, the client retracted their threat and paid the ad fee. Case closed. Okay it was a scary experience, and nearly tarnished my reputation. Sikit lagi, nasib baik. Next time I'll be a jerk and jadi tegas by not simply let any fucked up ads to go into production.

In another unrelated case but still regarding at the workplace, gua dipaksa mengaku iklan birthday Sultan yang screwed up as my fault. Okay now I feel like working with gangsters. Shit, malas la nak ingat balik tapi betul ah bikin gua sikit upset. Bayang ah menda lu tak buat, dan takde bukti pun lu buat, tapi lu kena paksa mengaku yang tu hasil kerja lu dan salah lu. Nak? Sapa nak?Again, case closed. Misunderstanding. But still, berbekas jugak dalam hati. Kalau dah kena sekali, boleh jadi next time kena lagi. Fuck.

Recording lagu Raptor kedua baru selesai tadi.Didn't go well. Drum part sampai 3 take. The whole band tengah tertekan sebenarnya. Udin kurang sihat, baru jumpa doc semalam dan beratus jugak melayang bayar ubat. Jeremy tak dapat hadir recording, dan Anas takde gitar dan efek nak dipakai untuk recording. Keadaan agak fucked up la sebenarnya. hasil kurang memuaskan. Minggu ni agak jahanam haishh.

Pasal duit takyah cakap la, memang setiap masa bermasalah. Skang gua macam tak terurus sangat duit. Orang pinjam duit gua pun tak bayar lagi. Kadang-kadang sampai gua pulak yang kena mintak. Gila sampai camtu! Yang hutang gua cepat-cepat ye bayar balik. Gua pun hidup ada takde je duit ni. Baru awal bulan!

Tapi keadaan takde la se-grim mana pun this week. At least gua get to speak with that particular person setelah 2 years of silence. Gua perasan, dengan orang lain gua takleh jadi diri sendiri bila bercakap tapi dengan that person, it's like almost talking to someone who resemble myself. Too bad we can't be together again, too bad. Well, at least gua masih hidup kan?

Well what do you know about loyalty?!

2010-10-26T13:45:00.000+08:00

You could learn a thing or two from this movie. Seriously. And IF you cry after you watch the movie ends, it's okay. The best, most emotional movie I've watched so far.

Hachi's loyalty is unmatched. Can you?

Hatred

2010-10-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

Gua dah patut boleh agak bila balik rumah je bersua muka mesti nak bertekak. Tak sampai sejam gua cakap lu. Ada je tak kena. ADA JE TAK KENA. Apasal? Tak suka tengok gua boleh selamba lenggang balik takde mengadu hidup macam sial? Ke memang menyampah tengok muka gua dan expect why the fuck is he here? And then don't start acting like I did something wrong. In the end you made me look like I did it. Why? You don't like it when someone go against you,don't you? You hate it when someone have a different opinion than you, kan? Let me tell you, THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU! Jangan nak paksa gua lah! Gua dah cakap kan jangan sampai satu tahap gua melenting dan buat bodoh aje nanti! So Abah was right. Damn right. 24 years, now it's all clear.

Macam harammm

2010-10-16T00:36:00.001+08:00

-Bila gua duduk termenung, tangan mesti gatal nak usap dagu. End up most of the time janggut 3,4 helai gugur.

-Bila gua drive, kelajuan takkan lebih 60 km/h, tapi mulut gua akan mencarut lagi laju dari Gattling Gun. Pemandu KL macam sial.

-Bila gua duduk termenung dalam toilet dealing with the er..dumping session, gua kena pegang buku dan baca. Sebab tu gua pandai hahah. Gua baca di mana-mana saja.Novel cinta paling cun baca dalam jamban sebab they help to ease the bowel movement. Jangan tanya, gua pun takleh nak jawab.

-Bila gua tengok perempuan busty in real life,gua jadi takut . Total distraction, buat tangan berpeluh.

-Bila gua pergi kafe NSTP gua suka rembat tisu diorang banyak-banyak, sebab diorang suka charge harga food mahal. Padan muka!

-Bila gua makan western food (chicken chop for instance), gua pakai garpu kat tangan kanan, pisau kat tangan kiri. Apa? Gua Melayu ah!

-Bila minum air, gua buang straw sebab rasa tak puas minum.

-Bila gua berada dalam keadaan tekanan yang extereme (terlampau sedih atau gembira), gua pasang lagu yang kadang-kadang orang yang kenal gua rasa jengkel...macam lagu George Michael atau pun ...M2M. Ok pe.

-Bila gua tengok budak-budak yang spoilt, gua rasa baran. Hidup ni tak adil. Satu hari nanti gua nak mandulkan semua spoilt brat, padan muka. Pakai duit mak bapak pun nak angkuh ke?

-Bila gua jalan-jalan (tak kira pergi kerja atau saja jalan), fikiran gua melayang-layang fikir menda lain. Selalunya pikir pasal diri sendiri dan perancangan masa depan.

-Bila gua berfikir nak buat keputusan, gua amik masa yang lama nak fikir. Tak lama, dalam 2,3 hari camtu. Kehkeh. Selalunya within that time frame gua akan banyak termenung.

-Bila gua buat keputusan, gua pantang orang cuba pertikai. Skang ni gua jadi anjing ke sampai nak ada orang bautkan keputusan.

-Bila gua...ahh gua nak tido ah!

L E A V E

2010-10-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

Reasons why I left:

- My depression is getting severe. I need a place where I can be alone (and commit suicide...okay I made that up)
-I want a privacy. The last thing I want to hear is someone screaming at me and telling me what to do. For fuck's sake, I'm in my mid 20's, gimme some space!
-I want to taste the freedom of being myself.
-I feel I'm being treated unfairly. No more oh you can't do that, you can't to this. No more. Fuck it.
-I'm tired of being compared with other people. Why I can't just be myself? I don't care if Mak Cik Bibah's eldest son is an engineer and make RM5k a month, or Puan Jijah's second daughter is pursuing Master's degree. If they are so cool, go adopt them as your kid! Look, if I like wearing black shirts and spend my money on CDs and shits, what's the problem? Why must I fit in your point of view? Why must I be like others? Have you never heard 'individuality' before? Now don't claim you are being an open minded mom, the truth is, you are not.
-I'm losing my patient of your ramblings. Why everything I did seems to be wrong to you? I know when I said I'm moving out you were shocked, but I guess that's the price you have to pay when you make me feel alienated in the house. I tried to mend things but it didn't work. Ingat petang tadi masa kenduri? You told me to keep an eye on your bag to which I did but then you told me to get some old newspaper to cover the lauk kenduri in car. Yes I went to get the newspaper, and I left the bag which you were standing nearby. When I came back you were nowhere in sight and then out of nowhere you screamed at me IN FRONT OF PEOPLE telling me I left your bag unattended (get the idea? Yea I'm accused of being careless!). I was really upset the way you treat me. So I assume you really wanted me to leave. Fine.

I don't know whether God really exists. But if God is listening to me right now, please help me. Light up my path.

Gua promise ni CD last gua beli tahun ni!

2010-09-29T01:31:00.000+08:00

L-R: Burzum - Burzum/Aske Digipak (Misanthropy Recs), Burzum - Belus Digipak(Byelobog Prod), Borknagar - Universal Jewelcase (Indie Recs)

You smell that? It smells gooooooooooooood!

Akhirnya sampai jugak!Okay dah boleh sangat berhenti membeli merchandise/CD buat masa ni. Gua umumkan aktiviti membeli belah ditangguhkan sehingga keadaan kembali tenang! Terima kasih kepada Oscar Nordbø!

Gua cuti,pehal lu orang kerja hahahaah!

2010-09-25T02:57:00.000+08:00

We're almost at the end of September. How time flies fast. Beginning next week I'll be on leave as it's my turn to take a Raya break. Yea I know, lambat siyal gua nak cuti. Who cares. I did my job now it's my turn to kick back and relax. Fuck yeah, cuti at the end of the month. Sweet.

I'm moving out from Mom's house and moving in to an apartment somewhere in Ampang. It's about time pun, to be totally independent. I'm not getting any younger pun :p Probably will move in at the end of Sept or early October. Finally I can get my own freedom. Fuck yeah.

3 months until my contract with NSTP expires. Wonder what's the future holds for me. Whatever the outcome might be, I hope 2011 will be another great year for me. Please gaji kasi naik baik punya! I think I have to hold back my plan of owning a car, because of the pindah rumah thingy. No matter, car can wait. Car is not an asset by the way. Anyhow, I'm in a process of updating my portfolio. I gather all my published works (including the recent one the raya road safety campaign). Not that much, but I value them very much as they are important for my repo and street cred <-----------ayat bajet gangstuh hahah!

Oscar, my Norwegian friend aka my former boss is currently on trip to his home land, Norway. So I asked him a favor to get some of Norwegian band CDs. Well he did. As what he told thru Facebook, he got me Burzum's Belus (2010) digipak and Aske (1993) EP and Borknagar's Universal (2010). Ahaha can't wait for Oscar to fly back here! But that left me with one question in my head. Have I spent too much on music? Macam..tiap-tiap bulan kot gua beli merchandise music. Tak baju, CD. This need to stop. I can't keep buying stuff every month. This is madness. It's like I myself have turned a shopaholic. Well, kinda. This could be my last puchase for the year. Well I hope so.

So uhh tomorrow is NSTP's Raya Open House. Free foooooooooooooooooooooooooooood fuck yeah!I better get some sleep.

Changes for a better ending.

2010-09-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

Soon, everything will change. I don't expect much except for a better life. May this small sacrifice will reward me for something bigger.

Fuck No

2010-09-14T16:05:00.000+08:00

Tahun lepas punya gambar. Skang badan gua dah bertambah berkali-kali ganda besar. Not good.

Respect my privacy

2010-09-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

Jangan nak sibuk nak tentukan siapa gua nak kawan, siapa gua nak bergaul, apa gua nak buat. It's none of your fucking business. Respect my life. You have no business poking around with my life. Respect my privacy. Kalau gua tak nak beritau, pehal nak paksa? Kesabaran gua dah menipis. Gua anytime boleh tengking lu dan biar satu neighbourhood dengar. Jangan nak paksa.

It's a zone,called comfort zone

2010-09-13T02:46:00.000+08:00

Kita patut tahu bila masa untuk bergerak keluar dari zon selesa. Tak kira la kerja ke, status hidup ke apa ke. Peka dengan keadaan. Lihat keadaan poket. Lihat reaksi orang. Tak kira ah. Janji peka. Kalau rasa gaji tu dah rasa tak cukup dan keperluan hidup makin mendesak lu keluar duit lebih, itu maknanya kena keluar dari zon selesa. Kalau dah rasa tiba-tiba status golongan mewah lu tu dah macam drop sikit (dah tak boleh minum machiato kat The Apartment KLCC setiap bulan, sebagai contoh), itu maknanya kena keluar dari zon selesa. Dah kalau tiba-tiba mak lu duk bagi hint macam nak suruh lu keluar duk sendiri, itu maknanya kena keluar dari zon selesa.Kadang-kadang jadi manja sangat pun tak boleh. Malu ah dengan diri sendiri, unless lu memang muka tembok (Bunkface?). Bersusah sikit bukan bererti jadi bahalol (sebab setengah orang cakap jangan jadi bodoh la, buat apa nak hidup susah, baik hidup senang!), pada gua ia mengajar kita hargai purpose hidup kita. Dan sebagai sorang yang sentiasa dipandang loser dan kurang berjaya sejak kecil, gua mesti ah kena berusaha keras supaya dapat menjamin hidup gua yang serba pathetic ni. Gua tak peduli pun apa expectation orang. On the side note, gua adalah anak sulung, yang mana selalu orang cakap mereka ni anak experimentation oleh ibu bapa untuk membesarkan anak. Jadi kalau anak sulung tu didikannya salah atau kurang cermat, the following children akan dididik dengan sempurna..lebih sempurna dari yang sulung. Gua? Entah ah gua tak peduli pun kalau gua ni anak experimentation yang berjaya ke tak. Tapi melihatkan sering dibandingkan dengan anak yang lain, gua kadang-kadang terfikir jugak menda ni betul kot agaknya. Bila gua dilabel mengikut perangai abah (yang gua extremely benci bila dilabel camtu), gua jadi upset. Gua bukan abah, gua darah daging dia, itu betul, tapi gua adalah individu yang berbeza, bukan carbon copy abah atau abah versi 2.0. Tapi mak lain kot dia fikir. FUCK THAT, tapi gua tetap sayang abah walaupun gua sebenarnya banyak kali kecewa dengan dia, dan jugak mak (terutamanya 2 tahun kebelakangan ni). Barangkali gua kena remind diorang, gua ada vision sendiri dan gua tak suka mengikut saja. Gua tak suka kena banding dengan orang lain, sebab pada gua buat apa nak letak level kita sama dengan orang lain? Menjadi berbeza bukan bermaksud gua gila atau bahalol. Anak mak dan abah ni, enggan tunduk kepada norma-norma biasa. Anak mak dan abah ni, tak suka berkongsi cerita, tak macam anak mak dan abah yang lain. Anak mak dan abah ni perahsia, tak macam anak mak dan abah yang lain. Tapi tak bererti dia tak reti jaga diri, tak tahu limitation. Dah boleh sangat berhenti nak treat macam budak tak cukup akal. Jadi tak payah terkejut kalau anak sulung yang perahsia dan tak suka bercerita ni all of sudden menentang dan mula speaks his mind, sebab dia dah take control hidup dia. Jadi dah sampai masa you both sit back and chill the fuck out. Jangan pulak satu hari nanti dia decided to never come back and stop addressing you both mak and abah and instead refer to your first name saja. Biar gua keluar dari zon selesa, biar gua carve my own path. Dosa pahala, gua tanggung. Amal dan doa, itu antara gua dengan tuhan. You don't have to yell at my face , telling it over and over again,24/7. It really hurts. Fucking hurts. I love my mak and abah. Time to get out from the comfort zone. NOW.

Tak harap pun. Tak hairan pun.

2010-09-09T00:59:00.000+08:00

I was expecting Raya to fall on Thursday (9/9), but I was wrong. Raya will be on Friday. You know what that means? I have to go to work esok. Fucking hell, why why why! I already imagining myself having a good time on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday but whyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Bangsar I fucking hate to see you tomorrow,man! Honestly gua tak excited pun nak raya. Not even an inch. Pada gua raya, puasa semua ni dah takde kegembiraan macam dulu. Ye salah satunya sebab Vestibular Neuronitis gua masih ada lagi. Sialan punya penyakit, tak reti nak berambus ke? Badan memanjang tak sihat, apa sialnya semua ni?

Raya bukan sekadar berbaju Melayu dan makan rendang, iya?

2010-09-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

Raya dah dekat sangat dah ni, tinggal berapa hari je puasa akan tamat pastu raya. Ye raya. Gua tak rasa excited pun. It's either gua tak excited sebab gua dah meningkat tua ataupun gua memang tak nampak keistimewaan Ramadhan dan Aidilfitri tu sendiri. Ah malas gua nak fikir. Peduli apa. Janji gua hidup dan terus berjuang untuk hidup. Ewah. Anyway, dah namanya dah dekat nak raya mesti ah secara tipikalnya rakyat Malaysia (yang sentiasa ghairah dalam apa jua hal termasuk mengkafirkan orang) akan swarm shopping complexes bila dah masuk minggu ke 2 puasa. Gua konon nak shopping raya ah. Tapi haram nak beli baju melayu ke apa ke. Lu tau amenda gua beli?


Battlelore - Evernight (digipak limited edition)

Theatre of Tragedy - Storm

Wahkahkah! Mana nak beli baju Melayu, instead gua beli CD fuck yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Selamat Hari Raya! Btw hari ni first campaign road safety hasil tulisan gua keluar kat paper sampai seminggu pas raya. Ahh sukanya!

Current Obsession

2010-09-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

KAISA JOUHKI (BATTLELORE) IS THE PRETTIEST ELF, EVER.PERIOD!

To be away from it all, I long.

2010-08-31T22:07:00.000+08:00

Running away won't solve anything. But at least, I could forget it for a moment. Just for a moment.

A choice must be made,like it or not.

2010-08-29T08:35:00.000+08:00

I just hope the decision I made will not screw me up later. But, what's life without risk, is it not?

Lain kali, e-mail tu selalu-selalu bukak. You never know what you are going to get,son.

2010-08-28T15:16:00.000+08:00

Minggu yang serba serbi sibuk. Dissecting the Euphony sejak awal puasa hari tu dah terabai, harap kat Contramen aje yang update. Semalam gua dah up satu entry pasal Kristy Thirsk. Boleh baca kat sana.

Minggu ni freelance job bertambah, walaupun payment tak banyak mana gua sebat je. Dari tak bertambah duit kat dalam bank tu baik ada sikit walaupun hanya RM10. Lagipun bukannya gua kena banting tulang bancuh simen acececece. Kena pulak kerja masuk pagi skang ni gua jadi macam tak cukup rehat, mula ah jalan tak betul. Penat ah nak jalan! Cepat ah cukup duit, jadi gua boleh beli kereta gagagagagagagrghhhhhhhhhh!

Lagi satu minggu ni memang buat gua jadi histeria la. Gua bukak email yang gua khaskan untuk job hunting, tengok kot-kot kalau ada menda menarik. Indeed there was. Bikin darah gua jadi beku. Bikin gua whining berterusan sampai hari. Bikin gua jadi wtf wtf wtf wtf. +______________+ Sebab apa? Rupanya Leo Burnett reply e-mail gua. Yeah memang la gua macam seronok. Tapi bila tengok tarik diorang reply tu buat gua jadi why shit always happens babiiiiiiiiiiii! The date indicated it was sent 2 months ago. Two freaking months ago! Kimak gua tak perasan! 2bulan lepas gua tak bukak email langsung sebab sibuk! Uhmm anyway.. gua akan reply dalam hujung minggu ni gak. Wish me luck people. Hmfghhhh!

Putus terus mood.

p/s: Rae, if you are reading this bro, thanks for forwarding my resume,man.

Aku tiada sebab untuk mengingati kau tapi aku masih juga terkenang.

2010-08-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

Kau di situ? Aku rindukan kau :(

Nasik lemak ayam + char kuetiau + burger sedap gila + lemonade

2010-08-22T01:23:00.000+08:00

Keluar bersama-sama the Anneys selesai tamat kerja di Bangsar pada Jumaat lalu.Tujuannya nak menjemput Kong yang baru pulang dari Miri, pastu dengar cerita dia nak belanja sahur. Sesuai sangat la tu kena pulak gua memang tengah kopak (BABI BABI BABI!).

-Gua amik bas ke Shah Alam. Teringat lak zaman belajar dulu :( Rasa macam student pulak bila turun dekat Jati.

-Man amik gua setelah Pacek cakap dia ada hal , "Man otw amik kau". The truth: Man masa tu tengah sedap golek tido. Man upon learning the truth terus label Pacek sebagai keling. I can tell that! Hahha.

-Sebelum gerak ke LCCT pegi rumah Pacek dulu, tapi sebelum tu gua macam craving McD sundae plak (sebab ternampak kat round about section 2). Dah tu gua ngan Man lahap aiskrim kat bangku rumah Pacek, later on discovered spot tu ada hantu bikin appearance la sebelum ni (mak Pacek yang saksi).

-Gua sampai kering tekak bercerita dengan diorang semalam. Macam-macam cerita bukak. Haihh.

-Kong belanja sahur. Nasik lemak ayam, kuetiau goreng, burger sedap gila kat Taman Bunga Raya. Ahh best betul merasa gaji engineer ni hahah.

-Dah tu duk lepak bukak cerita hantu, kahkah. Apa pasal tah dah semua nak bukak cite hantu.

-Gua lega sangat dapat lepaskan apa terbuku kat kepala. Tu yang kering tekak gua semalam.

-Sudahnya hari Sabtu gua bangun kul 3. Dan berterusan sakit kepala.Pfft.

Kenapa gua kadang-kadang malu mengaku Melayu

2010-08-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

Orang Melayu selalu:

Senang termakan budi, jadi selalu bertindak jaga hati orang sampai makan diri. Perangai ni pretty much buat Melayu ni jadi bodoh melulu.
Berjanji dan payah nak tepati. Jesteru wujud istilah janji Melayu. Tak pula rasa malu malahan macam dah sebati. Biasalah janji Melayu (sambil terkekeh gelak).
Suka berbasa-basi, merepek meraban pusing sana-sini bila membuka cerita sebelum pergi kepada tujuan sebenar. Yalah, cakap beralas kononnya.

Gua menyimpan ni. Gua menyimpan sangat. Jangan jadikan puasa kali ni something yang buruk buat gua. Jangan bagi gua hilang pertimbangan. Gua boleh jadi sangat tenang dan gua boleh jadi gelombang in split second. Jangan cuba gua sekali-kali.

Mengenali CD Packaging 101 bersama Abang A

2010-08-15T13:09:00.000+08:00

Hello adik-adik. Hari ini Abang A is for Anomaly nak bercerita sedikit sebanyak tentang CD packaging. Buat adik-adik yang selalu sangat download stuff dari Internet tu abang tak terkejut kalau adik tak tau istilah-istilah dan jenis CD packaging ni. Itu la, jadi la kaki sedut lagi! Beli la sekeping dua, tunjuk sedikit sokongan terhadap artis kegemaran anda. Maaf ya, terselit pulak iklan PSA (public service announcement).

Baiklah Abang tak mau membuang masa (sebenarnya abang ada banyak masa sebab trip abang ke Melaka terbatal) jadi Abang nak mulakan dengan berbasa-basi dahulu.

CD packaging adalah salah satu daripada marketing strategy kalau diikutkan. Ye la nak market produk, packaging mestilah outstanding. Kalau tak, produk kamu akan jadi 'just like another products on the shelf' dan susah la nak capai target jualan! Keyword di sini adalah eye pleasing dan unique. Barangkali recording labels banyak dah menyedari ini adalah komponen yang penting dalam marketing,jadi mulalah berbagai-bagai packaging yang dikeluarkan. Apa pun Abang nak tunjuk packaging yang paling typical boleh dijumpai di pasaran.

Jewel Case


Jewel Case dengan Slip on Cover (Eluvetie - Spirit re-release 2007, Twilight Records)

Jenis packaging ni adalah paling mudah ditemui di pasaran. Kebanyakan normal releases adalah dalam bentuk macam ni. Di depan ada inlay dan CD terletak di plastic tray yang lutsinar. Kebanyakannya ada artwork di sebalik plastic tray tu sekadar nak kasi lawa dan juga house-kan back cover untuk CD. Jewel case tahan lama sebab diperbuat daripada plastik tetapi prone untuk patah sebab tekanan (termasuk juga gerigi yang hold CD di plastic tray). Kalau keluaran Jepun biasanya akan di include obi strip. Ia adalah sejenis plastic atau kertas yang di selit di tepi kiri depan CD dan bertujuan nak beritahu kandungan dalam dan selalunya beritahu hit singles dari album tersebut, atau mungkin info-info menarik.

Digipak


6 fold Digipak (Eluveitie - Evocation 1:The Arcane Dominion, limited edition 2009, Nuclear Blast)

Gatefold Digipak (Girls' Generation - Gee EP, 2009 SM Entertainment)

Digipak merupakan alternatif kepada packaging Jewel Case dan selalu dipasarkan untuk album khas atau limited edition. Digipak boleh dikenali dengan feature nya seperti diperbuat daripada kadbod (berlawanan dengan Jewel Case daripada plastik), dan boleh dibuka seperti lipatan. Selalunya CD akan diattach di plastic tray seperti Jewel Case dan digam kepada kadbod. Memandangkan digipak diperbuat daripada kadbod, ia berisiko untuk menjadi lembik dan terkoyak lama-kelamaan (macam kulit buku la), lagi-lagi kalau tidak disimpan elok dan terkena air. Digipak memang jadi kegemaran recording labels sekarang untuk release yang khas. Contohnya macam abang punya 6 fold Digipak Eluveitie di atas, itu adalah limited edition, siap dengan DVD lagi.

Jewel Slim Case


Jewel Slim Case (The Rhymeweaver - The Hymns of Wrath and Passion,self released, 2007)

Satu lagi jenis yang boleh ditemui adalah Jewel Slim Case. Ia adalah simplified version Jewel Case yang lagi nipis dan...simple. Banyak band yang baru nak produce demo/stuff akan memilih packaging sebegini sebab murah. Dia tak banyak beza dengan Jewel Case kecuali ia lagi nipis, even tempat letak inlay tu pun nipis dan tak boleh hold inlay yang tebal (sesuai untuk demo CD yang selalunya tak letak banyak maklumat) dan plastic traynya tidak transparent seperti Jewel Case biasa. Sebab tu ia lebih compact. Jadi less cost, boleh produce banyak-banyak kot? Tihihihi.

Lain-lain

Bookstyle packaging (Girl's Generation - Oh!, full length, 2010, SM Entertainment)

Selain daripada apa yang Abang sebut di atas, terdapat bermacam-macam lagi packaging di pasaran. Ikut recording label la cemana diorang nak buat. Ada yang buat bentuk piramid (macam band Nile), ada yang buat gatefold, pastu include cermin la (macam Dimmu Borgir), ada yang dalam kotak kayu pastu kasi tulang dan ashes la (macam Agalloch) dan band Y2K pernah release album diorang dalam bentuk kotak pizza! Terpulang sebenarnya, mana yang menarik,itulah yang jadi perhatian, dan tentunya jadi rebutan peminat-peminat tegar sesebuah band untuk dijadikan collectible items. Ye la, makin rare dan pelik, mesti lagi suka! Yang Abang cerita ni yang pernah Abang jumpa, banyak lagi yang ada kat pasaran. Kalau jumpa yang lagi aneh, sila kongsi ya!Sekian tamat kursus Mengenali CD Packaging (MCDP 101) dari Abang A is for Anomaly. Jumpa lagi dalam kursus lain.

Salam sayang dari Abang A,

X0X0X0X0X0X0

Pasang niat puasa bro! Yang belum mandi wajib tu takkan tak reti lagi?

2010-08-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Esok dah nak puasa rupanya. Gua pun tadi macam endah tak endah je nak tau pengumuman puasa, since gua memang balik lambat dari Bangsar. Teringat pulak puasa-puasa yang lepas.

Dulu masa kecik-kecik puasa well typical saja macam lu orang. Momma and abah upah 50 sen setiap hari yang berjaya penuh puasanya. Gua tak pernah pun excited nak pergi bazaar Ramadan. Terlalu semak dengan orang, lagipun sikap misantrofik memang sebati dengan diri sejak kecil.Seingat gua ah, gua takde nak serong-serong ponteng puasa. Masa kecik-kecik bosan ah.

Kemudian bila masuk sekolah menengah dia puasa sudah lain macam sebab gua duduk hostel sepanjang pengajian menengah. Memang awesome. Makan dalam dulang metal. Bapak heavynya. Dewan makan bila bulan puasa tiba-tiba menunya jadi sedap gila. Lagi-lagi bila di hujung Ramadhan, tiap-tiap malam lepas Terawih hidang lemang sama rendang. Menu sahur, buka dan minum malam sangat membahagiakan. Tiba-tiba rasa life di hostel takde ha teruk mana hahah. Mak gua kadang-kadang datang visit on weekends masa bulan puasa dia akan bagi food yang dibeli kat baazar (sebenarnya rumah gua tak jauh mana pun dari sekolah,around 45 minutes by driving). Yang gempaknya bukan juadah yang diberi, tapi mercun!+___+ Mak gua selit mercun sambil-sambil tu. LOL! Seronok ah gua dengan kawan-kawan pom pam lepas terawih. Ada sekali tu pergi tembak surau budak perempuan dengan mercun roket, tak tau la apa jadi tapi nampak ah mercun tu masuk surau, lol. Budak-budak la sangat. Mostly yang gua cerita ni jadi masa SPM. And then ada sekali tu kami budak-budak form 5 kumpul duit beli barang mentah and masak mi goreng ramai-ramai untuk bersahur,menggunakan dapur Dewan Makan. Sedap jugak budak-budak gua ni masak. Masa tu rasa brotherhood spirit kuat gila.

Masa universiti lain pulak, selalunya gua bersahur awal sebab dewan makan bukak mulai jam 12 hingga 2 pagi. Lagipun gua bukannya berduit sangat nak pergi makan kat luar Ada sekali tu senior bilik sebelah bilik masak kat rumah diorang (kami tinggal kat apartment) and ajak gua ngan Syuk buka skali. Harammm best gila ahh makan ramai-ramai. Tu masa diploma. Bila menginjak ke degree dah lain pulak, gua duk menyewa dengan kawan-kawan, kami duk pakat masak sama-sama. Ada sekali dua ajak kawan-kawan kelas gua datang sekali buka puasa. Memandangkan gua memang rapat kawan-kawan kelas gua (yang majoritinya perempuan), ada ah sekali dua gua follow diorang pergi shopping barang,menyiang ayam dan masak dishes untuk berbuka puasa. Lol. Things I did for friends. Puasa masa period internship (masa tu dah nak ke final year pengajian) juga menarik. Membuat latihan praktikal di agensi periklanan, gua kenal dengan si cinta hati (kini bekas), dan spent masa juga berbuka puasa bersama-sama (dan juga raya). Tapi itu cerita lama.

Sesudah tamat universiti, sampai lah ke alam pekerjaan, puasa sewaktu alam pekerjaan lain daripada sebelum ni. Gua sampai sekarang teringat-teringat puasa tahun lepas, waktu tu gua berkhidmat sebagai volunteer di Petrosains, jadi kebanyakan masa banyak dihabiskan di KLCC dengan rakan-rakan. Masa tu kenal rakan-rakan baru memang fun ah, dan kenangan berbuka dengan diorang sampai sekarang gua ingat. Farid, Ili, Fahim, Ain dan ramai lagi la. Gua rindu lu orang :(

Dan esok akan bermulalah sekali lagi bulan puasa. Yang pasti sangat berlainan sebab gua akan jarang balik berbuka di rumah. Macam mana agaknya Bangsar di bulan puasa? Yang pasti gua dah makin dimamah usia,ecewah hahah. Selamat berpuasa!

Mentally challenged

2010-08-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

Facts:

- I keep forgetting I am driving in a real world, but most of the time I am pretending I am driving in a GTA: San Andreas world. I am CJ,foo! What I'm trying to say is, I drive like a mad man. PERIOD.

-I carry lotsa coins in my right pocket. Agak gua ada ah dalam RM 6 camtu. Back up untuk keadaan yang memaksa seperti kot-kot kena naik bas ke, nak bayar coki-coki ke apa.

-I always listen to music, every single moment available except sleep,berak,semayang,or makan. I always carry my earphone and XpressMusic phone everywhere. Ada unsur nak tunjuk cool di situ.

-Baju gua banyak dah kecik. Termasuk yang baru dapat tadi. What the fuck I need to shed some weight! Pembelian baju dihentikan buat sementara sebab dah rasa macam kaki shopping.

-Drive keta berkaki ayam. Real men don't wear slippers/shoes!

-I refuse to shave my goatee. I think the goatee is my most important feature. Plus it has a strange golden/orange/idunno color to it, which is natural and very Viking-ish.

-I always carry my external Hard disk in my bag, some random Wiki article, a novel, minyak kambing and just now I realised, a small bottle of Antacid?

-I don't like wearing shoes at the office, resorting me to wear selipar Jepun. So Melayu kan.

-Likes to read Wikipedia everyday.

-Tak hafal selok-belok the whole NSTP building. Masa orientasi pergi tuang nyorok.

- Suka bagi codename orang-orang di pejabat. Antara codename yang pernah diberi adalah Lili, Leha, Pakcik Sengal, Belalang Tempur, Superchook dan macam-macam lagi codename yang insulting.

-Prone to terrorizing my friend's walls on Facebook.

We lost you, one year ago.

2010-08-07T22:42:00.001+08:00

We miss you so much Dott. If you are still alive, please come back to us. It's been a year since we last seen you. If you are already joining the Great Cats of the sky, please do remember us. We will always remember you. You were a good cat, you were always a great companion. We miss you.